Today I want to explore the struggle I have had with the near constant feeling that I must hurry. It is an urgency that rests in every level of my being. It is hard to even rest and relax because I feel I must “hurry and get it done”. There is always a feeling that what I am currently doing isn’t good enough and there are more important things to do. Even if what I am doing is quite important, I feel even more urgent as if not hurrying will cause me to fail or miss something vital. The opposite is true. When I hurry, I am not able to think as clearly, so I make more mistakes and take longer.
There are certainly times when there are deadlines and even emergencies. But hurrying does not help the process. If I make more mistakes and take longer, this would not be a good thing in either situation. It could even cause harm.
I once heard, “Late is late, why agitate?” It makes sense, but it has been hard to put into regular practice. I tend to always feel like I am running late, even when I don’t know what for. I dislike being late or falling behind. But it does sometimes happen, despite good planning. I find that when I can stay calm and accepting, I am able to get more done and accomplish the task more completely, in a shorter period of time than when I get panicked and rushed. Sometimes I even surprise myself by finishing on or ahead of time even when I thought I would be late—when I am at peace.
I can see situations and people that may have taught me the behavior of being tense and hurried. I hold no bad feelings for any of them. All brought me to the lesson I am learning now. It is time for those old patterns to fall away. They have served me well. They were meant to protect me and others. I can see a better way now. I want to try the way of peace, calm and acceptance. If it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to hurrying and trying to control everything.
Glorifying being busy and in a rush is the way many in society cope with life, not knowing a better way. For me, I can see that this causes more mistakes, lost opportunities and creates mental and physical disharmony. I will do it differently no and pray that the hurried ones I encounter will find peace also.