We CAN’T Judge

found_peace_by_twilitesmuse-d4rbxn2

We are utterly unable to judge anything. It is too complex for us too begin to see. Take a step back and look with care at how much it takes to simply judge for yourself what to do in a situation that no one else is involved in. Your mind weighs many factors that will affect you and the outcome of the decision and how you feel in the moment. It takes into effect all the things about who you are, how you think, how you live, what you need, fears, longings, and on and on. Even if you don’t make a wise decision in the end, all these factors are quickly routed through your mind when you need to decide something. Each person has their own unique process like this when making even the simplest decisions.

We tend to think we know how others go through this process, that their process must be similar to our own. Or we think that our own process is superior, particularly if we are attached to the belief that the decisions we make are usually the right ones. But we can’t know another person’s mind. It is difficult enough to see our own.  It is impossible to know another person’s mind well enough to judge their decisions and choices. We would need to see every event that has happened to them, every previous choice they have made, all the things that have brought them to that particular moment. These are the things that go into a decision. These are the things that create a moment. Many people come together in each moment.

If we must recognize that we can’t possibly judge or understand why each person is the way they are and makes the choices they make, then surely we must step even further back and see that trying to question every aspect of the Divine is beyond our capacity. How would it be possible to comprehend the decision process of the Ultimate Mind if we are barely able to see our own? And if we can’t understand how to love and accept the process of another, then we can’t be close to understanding and harmonizing with God. We have so much work to do on ourselves. It can’t be done while trying to judge.

Judging holds us separate from God. God is love and grace. If we are to be that, then we have to lay down everything in us that screams, “UNWORTHY!” or “RIGHTEOUS!” Even if we feel we are doing it on God’s behalf. We know in our soul we aren’t. It’s for us and what we believe. The Divine is doing His work, and we don’t understand and we don’t need to. We are here to do our own work and to let Him work through us. Part of that work—maybe the hardest part—is to learn non-judgment.

Healing Through Freedom

Image

This is for my personal healing. I will say all I need to say without holding back. By doing this I will make peace with my inner self, my Higher Self will be able to more fully flow through me and my true purpose in this life will be more fully realized.

My purpose in arriving in this body, in this realm was not to strive to impress people or satisfy their judgments. Judgments are useless and we can never satisfy everyone’s judgments. I will never seek to harm another and will strive to avoid harm and relieve suffering. I am through tying this to judging my own individual behavior in every move I make and every thought I think, simply to satisfy what I believe someone else would want me to be. I am especially done believing I am not good enough or whole if someone doesn’t like me, doesn’t approve of me or doesn’t think like I do. I am always whole.

I am here for a reason, just as we all are.

I will not forget that again simply because someone else does. I have no need to think exactly as someone else does. We are all unique and this makes life full and helps us grow.  I will appreciate that, not fight against it. I don’t need correcting, nor do I need to correct others. I am not misunderstanding things. I am not blind. I am not crazy, wrong or evil simply because I don’t see things as someone else does. We all see things in our own way and we grow in our own time. I will be my true self. By doing this, I will live in joy and health, rather than dysfunction and illness. I will shine in my freedom and I won’t let my fears about others opinions shadow my light.

I am a Child of Pure Spirit. As such, I am purifying myself of obstacles such as conformity, guilt and shame so I can see the Essence of the Pure Spirit from which I came and to which I will return. A Phoenix cannot rise if it never burns. I am burning the dark, heavy parts accumulated from this world, the things that build up in all our hearts and minds and collect in the cells of our bodies. As I transform these things, I am released to rise to higher, freer, more open levels. Like the Phoenix, I am freer with each burn.

I may be misunderstood at times. This may change in time. Or it may not. I am turning this over to the Universe.  I release past harm I may have caused out of misguided ignorance on my path to this point. Ignorance and fear have often gotten the better of me. My hope is that we all watch for them.

My freedom is as much to free others as it is to free myself.

My hope for all is that we all know we are whole and lovely. By stepping into my Oneness, I hope to help others understand their own Oneness. I have needed to heal. I could not see this for a long time. I see my life has gone just the way it needed to in order to bring me to this point.

My past has often been painful and grief filled. I have had to face those demons in order to expand and see every aspect of the beauty of life and all it gives. I am doing my work to recognize and heal any sad, lonely children inside me. This is my wish for the world.

I accept that I do not have control over everything. In fact, in the past there have been times where I had little control over my own living situation, memories or thoughts. Compassion, empathy and understanding of a larger picture are all things I am trying to practice. Not everyone is. I get that. But I am and I will also practice compassion with myself.

I will eat, live and work in a way that acknowledges that we are all part of the same Energy.

This includes everything. The Earth, the Universe, supports and gives us this life force energy and it is all around us—literally. We breathe it, it courses through us, we drink it, eat it, can’t be alive without it and when we die, every part of us changes into different aspects of this same Energy. It keeps flowing, eternally. It’s beautiful and everything has this. Nothing is OK to destroy or hate. It’s all life. It all flows into and from the same Source. Out of, into, from and through. Over and over.  I am in awe of it and I hope to honor it with the way I live.

Finding the Body Temple

the_butterfly_by_perkunija-d4n0l0b

I love the idea of the body being a temple. The body is the soul’s mode of transportation, the vessel through which we operate, learn, grow and expand. Without a body through which to experience, our ability to understand ourselves, each other and the Universe would be greatly altered and limited. Physical form is a way for us to learn to express love and gratitude. We become humble and expansive through being here in these bodies.

Since our bodies are so important, it is vital to take very good care of them. Honor them with appreciation and love. Accept everything about your body as a gift to you. All of it helps you to perceive your soul more clearly. This includes pain. Pain is a signal. As such it helps us see that something needs attention and care. This is as essential to us as air or water. When we trust this, pain can flow through us as easily as air and water.

I am very familiar with pain and illness.

I have had to re-learn how to care for and protect my body, and to respect it. I spent most of my adult life very sick and in a great deal of pain. Many days I wasn’t able to get out of bed without help. I was chronically exhausted and had fibromyalgia and early onset arthritis. I had seizures, sometimes several times a day and excruciating headaches. This became so bad that for awhile I was unable to form new memories, so I couldn’t keep track of what I had done already, or often where I even was. I have had a total of 13 surgeries, eleven of them abdominal, one on a breast mass and one on a knee. I was 130 pounds overweight several years ago. I was depressed and felt I had no function in the world. I spent an entire summer bedridden with one health problem after the other. I had two surgeries in less than a year. I was told my spine was deteriorating and my knees would need replacements within a decade. I couldn’t walk even half a block. Part of me wanted to quit. Instead I started loving myself.

Then great things started to happen for me.

Exercise, healthy food, water and fresh air are all needed to keep our body temples functioning well. For me, meditation and regular sleep patterns have helped a great deal as well. Once I decided to love myself, exactly as I was, all the things I needed to be well started falling in line almost effortlessly. I had spent years fighting my body and my mind. I often said I hated them and couldn’t wait to be released from what I thought of as a physical prison. I fully knew that I am not my body, but I wanted OUT of my body.  Things shifted when I stopped expecting my body to be different.

I quit weighing myself, something that I did nearly every day since I was a teen. I started a journal to write down 3 things I was grateful for each night before I went to sleep. I discovered that I needed to eat gluten free. Hard as it was, I made the change. I began working out—yoga, Pilates, cardio, whatever felt good to me that day.  I wanted it to be fun, not work. I only asked myself for ten minutes each time, but I found it felt so good and was so enjoyable that I usually kept it going for 30 minutes or so. I began meditating every day for at least 5 minutes. I allowed one stress free hour before bed each night and I went to bed at the same time each night. I opened the curtains each morning and let the sun in. Soon the difference in the way I felt was amazing. I was able to discontinue several medications within 6 months. The seizures stopped and I haven’t had one since.

Then I began noticing that many of the gluten-free foods were also natural and organic. I wondered if this could be contributing to my improved health and feelings of well-being. I began including more and more organic foods in my diet. I also decided to stop eating processed foods. Initially, this was mostly because I wanted to shift my food budget more toward organic foods. There wasn’t enough money for these and gluten free processed foods.

A new culprit appeared as I continued weeding out.

I kept soda for awhile longer, though I switched to caffeine free. I noticed even more improvement in my mental and physical state. Around this time, I noticed that on the days that I drank soda with food dyes in the (orange, grape, etc.), I felt an extreme change mental change. I was anxious, irritable and wound up. I also noticed that I had urinary inflammation similar to a low grade urinary tract infection when I consumed these. These were exactly the symptoms I had hoped to rid myself of by stopping caffeine. I did several tests on my theory and realized I needed to stop food dyes also. My husband was not convinced, until he tested this out on himself and the colored sodas had the same effect on him. Things improved even more. I was down to two medications.

My weight stabilized at a healthy place. Overall I felt very well. My pain had almost completely disappeared. I still got sick frequently with infections. And I was still tired most of the time. I knew I was borderline diabetic, but I had never done much to take care of it. My blood sugar would plummet frequently, leaving me faint, shaky, nauseated and with an intense headache. I tried going sugar free, but I knew the artificial sweeteners caused me other problems. The only way I knew to do it was by going without anything sweet for awhile and then reintroduce sugar to test the difference. My energy level came way up and I noticed I stopped being so susceptible to infection. I missed sweets, but I decided it was worth it to find a way to cook without sugar.

These days, I do yoga for about 30 minutes day, most days. I eat mostly organic (lots of veggies and fruits) and gluten free. I am eating sweets more often, but I sweeten them with organic Stevia, honey, dates or occasionally maple syrup. I meditate for 20-30 minutes every morning. Most of all, I have continued to cultivate my love of life and of myself. I can’t imagine not taking good care of my mind, body and emotions as I do now.  These days, it’s hard to imagine I used to live in such a miserable state. I’m glad it’s behind me, but I am grateful for the experience. It taught me to love myself just as I am. It taught me that love is the key. Like a butterfly I have emerged renewed.

**Editor’s Note, 11/13/15: I have since chosen return to no sweets or high sugar fruits, as my body felt best eating this way, in the long run. Blog posts about this coming soon.